Outlining used to be my favorite part of the writing process. This is – was -when the story takes shape in my head and I get to enjoy where it goes. But this time, I’m deliberately doing things differently, and the fun isn’t quite there. Or, if it is, it’s buried under a hear of self-doubt.
I’m trying to keep my story beats loose, thanks to past experience where I diverted dramatically from my original intent during the writing process. I want events and twists that can adapt if I need them to, especially at the end. In fact, I’ve already had to change my battle and self-revelation beats (the actual events, not the theme) at least once in the beat-writing process!
Since I can’t be sure if the story is really going to work out this way, I’m not confident, and therefore I’m too nervous to enjoy this process, for now, at least.
But at least today, I finished the beats for the main storyline of my hero’s change in the story world. There are a few other storylines that I need to map out, as well, but I think those will be relatively simpler and require fewer steps. At least, I hope that is the case. . . We’ll see tomorrow.