As I move into Day 2 of my non-fiction project, I am questioning to myself whether I have given up.
I want to write fiction and fantasy. I want to be able to transition to a career as a full-time author. Those are my goals, even if they are far, far away at this point. I know that writing non-fiction is not going to get me any closer. There is no career in this field and another book isn’t likely going to make any measurable difference.
So, what am I doing? I think I need this break to refocus, to study, and to think about how I want to write. I need to read a lot, too. Not more craft books – I half wonder if that is what killed my motivation to keep going with my last two stories. I need to read more fantasy, to soak it in and also to study it. If I read more of the stories that I enjoy, I hope that will bleed into my own writing and I will be able to write closer to that style as I find my own voice.
I think can do this study, reflection, and planning better if I don’t also feel pressure to move forward on my own writing at the same time.
I don’t want this break to take too long. Just enough time for me to feel ready to hit the page again – and maybe long enough to miss the fiction, rather than feeling like it is a chore and a struggle, which is what I have been experiencing recently.