Last night, I was talking to my wife about why my writing has gotten so slow. I think there are two factors. One is that I am mentally overwhelmed most days. Work has been hell lately, particularly relationships with my subordinates. I am constantly worried about them exploding, and that, as well as the demands on my time that leave no time to stop and think during the day, keep me constantly on edge and in fear.
The second factor, possibly related, is a lack of self-confidence. There was a time, back when I was on the Magic Spreadsheet, that I could write freely. I could write 1,000 words per day, or more and never really second-guessed myself about the quality or what I was writing. But now, I second-guess everything. I’ve finished two complete stories, only to go back and think that they were crap, so bad that I didn’t know how to fix them. So, now, that has robbed me of the spirit to just try to get a first draft out there to fix later.
I also haven’t let anyone else read those stories, so there is no outside opinion as to whether they are any good or not. All I have is my own mental comparison against the authors I like, who have a tone more experience and dozens of published books. Of course it’s stupid to compare myself to them, but that’s all I have for now.
Maybe I should let someone else read a chapter or two and get their feedback, just so I have a frame of reference other than my own head.